find out gloria has some epic class and attempt to valiantly protect her with your uselessness while she kicks ass..but then don’t realize this and think you protected her. strike heroic pose over incapacitated foes
I second Antonio. (And by the way, HOW DARE THEY CALL YOU A BLOND WITCH!!! I also second necco.) And what happened to that armor you got with your fight with the reincarnated CondoR {http://what-do-you-do.net/2010/10/magic-armor/}?
use pending child to avoid capture
your wife is glowing..they wouldn’t old fashioned alternative to darting her would they?
Run away!
Let epicness fill you as you stand in defense of your wife.
cast “hit Clyde upside the head with John’s warlock book”
Be prepared!
Summon something from the warlord’s book.
let the cat army fight Clyde while you and Gloria face the mysterious man with random spells and whatever Gloria can do
Draw the dagger in your inventory.
You might be magically inept but I don’t see anything wrong about a caster using a small blade.
Use your army of cats and your blade to fight.
Cast something at the intruders. It literally doesn’t matter what.
find out gloria has some epic class and attempt to valiantly protect her with your uselessness while she kicks ass..but then don’t realize this and think you protected her. strike heroic pose over incapacitated foes
cast spells, any spells. destroy your attackers in a hail of magical schrodingerfu
Notice that your shoe is untied
Oh Look! A Shiny Penny!
CASTRANDOMSPELLSEVERYWHERE
Hope that whatever class your wife is in can help you get out of this mess.
I second Antonio. (And by the way, HOW DARE THEY CALL YOU A BLOND WITCH!!! I also second necco.) And what happened to that armor you got with your fight with the reincarnated CondoR {http://what-do-you-do.net/2010/10/magic-armor/}?
OR, hear all sugestions at once flowing into your head. (VOICES INSIDE YOUR HEAD, MAN.)
I’m pretty sure that just by being named Clyde, your attacker has a strong advantage.
BEG FOR MERCY IN A MANNER MOST CHARACTERISTIC OF A BEGGAR… WITH A CUP
or PREPARE FOR THE ATTACK OF A VILLAINOUS DUO AND THEIR TALKING FELINE
Yell useless piece of advice (i.e: “Be very careful”)
Ask the world in general why everyone mistakes you for a girl.
As you seem LEAST likely to trigger the spell you are casting, cast Mage Armor against your assailants.
If the effects AREN’T offensive, bluff that they are.
You didn’t cast conjure food: those turkey legs are triggered explosives!
Complement your wife on her beautiful green eyes or do something else that won’t help you at all, you are james after all
Ask what the “old fashioned” way is.
Wait patiently for the “old-fashioned way”.
get yo kung-fu on.
sue for copyright if Clyde’s partner is called Bunnay.
Bonnie*
Look dramatically at your attackers. Shout “YOU!” at them no matter who they are.
hide behind douglas
Assume battle positions.
Draw the dagger in the inventory.
Drag Douglas along as an expert meatshield.
pass out cigars, your wife is glowing, james jr is on the way