And there you have it, at this moment there is no Death. Death’s quit. No one to swing the scythe, and no one to collect the souls. which means those souls are not at rest. They’re neither here nor there. They’re what you or I might call zombies…a fine old rumpus thats going to cause.
This is a story about life and about Death.
Not death with a little “d”, but Death with a big “D”.
As in Death, the person.
It’s a story about life and Death, and how one depends very much on the other. It’s also a story about a world, and here it comes now, right on cue.
This world to be exact. The world of “What do you do”
It is illuminated by two suns, the larger of which only quite recently popped into existence at the whim of a silly little elf who is apparently filled with destiny and acts like a small child in spite of his 20+ int stat.
Scientists will tell you that the odds of anything so completely absurd actually happening are a million to one,
but magicians have calculated that million to one chances crop out nine times out of ten.
……….
This is Death’s house.
And that is Death’s Horse. His name is Binky.
And why look at that. Its that elf we were just talking about. Lets listen in.
[Death: THAT’S IT!! I QUIT!
James: What? But wait...can you do that?!
Death: WE’LL JUST HAVE TO SEE NOW WON’T WE]
My my. That’s the turn up for the book.
………………..
Auditors:
It has never happened before. Can it be done ?
Oh, it must be done. Death has become a personality.
There have been irregularities. When you get personality, you get irregularities. It’s a well known fact.
Death has worked inefficiently in “what do you do”
Hurmf, No…No, we can’t get him there.
That is the point. The word is “him”.
Becoming a personality is inefficient. We don’t want it to spread.
Yeah besides, sometimes he wonders about his job….Bearing in mind what his job is I find that dangerous.
You said “I”.
What?
You said “I”. You are not developing a personality too, are you?
No no no no no no no no, of course not. Us wouldn’t do that.
All right. But watch it in future.
Then we are agreed?
We are agreed.
To become a personality is to end.
……
For being too much of a personality, and having doubts about his job, Death, with a capital “D”, has just been fired. But they letting him keep the horse.
James: Ha! Forfeit I win and get to keep my life and Deblin…In fact you have to fix his wing….And be my best friend forever.
Death: WHAT? NO! A GAME FOR YOUR LIFE THAT WAS THE DEAL…I JUST WANT YOU GONE. FINE…YOU WIN…JUST GO…ITS BEEN FUN DON’T COME BACK.
Death: HUH? A NEW HOUR GLASS WITH ITS TIME RUNNING OUT……I’D “LOVE” TO STAY AND CHAT BUT HAVE TO WORK. YOU CAN FIND YOUR OWN WAY OUT RIGHT? DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.
…WAIT….THIS SAYS “Death”?!
James: This isn’t some kind of joke, is it ?
Death: I’M NOT KNOWN FOR MY SENSE OF FUN.
James: No… Of course, not. No offense meant. It’s just…It’s just… I thought time was something that happened to other people, not to you.
Deblin:
But I’ve always been such a big fan of your work, you can’t! Although lately I’ve had mixed feelings about that anyway….
Say…Death, if you go, will there be?..
Death: A NEW DEATH WILL ARISE FROM THE MIND OF THE LIVING.
Deblin and James: You… don’t… happened to know who he’ll be, do you.
Death: NO. BUT WHEN I SEE HIM, I WILL HEARTILY RECOMMEND YOU.
James and Deblin: *worried look*
Oh. You’ll see him, then.
Death: YES. WHEN HE COMES FOR ME. WHEN HE COMES FOR ME. I MUST GO. MUSTN’T… WASTE TIME. *mounts Binky*
James: Err… No.
Death: *holds up hourglass* SEE! I HAVE TIME. AT LAST, I HAVE TIME.
James: What are you going to do with it?
Death: I’M GOING TO SPEND IT.
I’M GOING TO SPEND IT! *rides off*
…
And then there you have it. At this moment, there is no death for WDYD Death’s been fired.
No one to swing the scythe, and no one to collect the souls. Which mean those souls are not at rest.
They’re neither here, nor there. They would you and I might call zombies.
A final rumpus that’s going to cause.
And that’s the story that I’m going to tell you.
How life and death depend on each other… absolutely.
Well for a little while anyway….This is after all still the story about the Elf.
Tell death quitting means forfeit and not only do you get to live(Deblin gets to do anyway since you already took his place before the game) But he[Death] also has to replace Deblin’s wing and also Death has to be your “friend slave” for the rest of your life…its the rules of the card game and fairs fair after all.
__
Say, Deb? you’re doing it wrong…don’t you need flesh on that? its all bony…
Wait…
Gah so confusing
So Deblin is now a half demon(presumably other half is human?) who is half Angel(possibly replacing the demon but then why still have horns?) who now has part death?
So is he is a half-angel(of death) now? If so does that mean another dramatic alignment shift this time to true neutral? Damn it, not another angsty “What have I become” arc…
*sigh* Guide your friend through his latest set of bodyhorror mind warping changes as he becomes the new Death.
Ask if this means you won.
Insist that walking away counts as a forfeit.
Get Deblin to erplace Death.
replace*
Strike a victory pose.
challange death to a adult card game.
Tell Death that, not only do you get Deblin’s soul, but Death is your best friend forever now.
i agree with wizician of the west!
Apply for his job, nobody else would be a better replacement.
Go and frolick around with Death during a friendship montage.
suddenly find yourself in a world where no one dies.
OR
become the new death.
Deny the powers that be when they try to get you to do Death’s job in his (its?) place.
My my thats a turnip for the book
And there you have it, at this moment there is no Death. Death’s quit. No one to swing the scythe, and no one to collect the souls. which means those souls are not at rest. They’re neither here nor there. They’re what you or I might call zombies…a fine old rumpus thats going to cause.
Demand that Deblin be saved.
Assume the hidden paragon class “Reaper”.
OR:
This is a story about life and about Death.
Not death with a little “d”, but Death with a big “D”.
As in Death, the person.
It’s a story about life and Death, and how one depends very much on the other. It’s also a story about a world, and here it comes now, right on cue.
This world to be exact. The world of “What do you do”
It is illuminated by two suns, the larger of which only quite recently popped into existence at the whim of a silly little elf who is apparently filled with destiny and acts like a small child in spite of his 20+ int stat.
Scientists will tell you that the odds of anything so completely absurd actually happening are a million to one,
but magicians have calculated that million to one chances crop out nine times out of ten.
……….
This is Death’s house.
And that is Death’s Horse. His name is Binky.
And why look at that. Its that elf we were just talking about. Lets listen in.
[Death: THAT’S IT!! I QUIT!
James: What? But wait...can you do that?!
Death: WE’LL JUST HAVE TO SEE NOW WON’T WE]
My my. That’s the turn up for the book.
………………..
Auditors:
It has never happened before. Can it be done ?
Oh, it must be done. Death has become a personality.
There have been irregularities. When you get personality, you get irregularities. It’s a well known fact.
Death has worked inefficiently in “what do you do”
Hurmf, No…No, we can’t get him there.
That is the point. The word is “him”.
Becoming a personality is inefficient. We don’t want it to spread.
Yeah besides, sometimes he wonders about his job….Bearing in mind what his job is I find that dangerous.
You said “I”.
What?
You said “I”. You are not developing a personality too, are you?
No no no no no no no no, of course not. Us wouldn’t do that.
All right. But watch it in future.
Then we are agreed?
We are agreed.
To become a personality is to end.
……
For being too much of a personality, and having doubts about his job, Death, with a capital “D”, has just been fired. But they letting him keep the horse.
James: Ha! Forfeit I win and get to keep my life and Deblin…In fact you have to fix his wing….And be my best friend forever.
Death: WHAT? NO! A GAME FOR YOUR LIFE THAT WAS THE DEAL…I JUST WANT YOU GONE. FINE…YOU WIN…JUST GO…ITS BEEN FUN DON’T COME BACK.
Death: HUH? A NEW HOUR GLASS WITH ITS TIME RUNNING OUT……I’D “LOVE” TO STAY AND CHAT BUT HAVE TO WORK. YOU CAN FIND YOUR OWN WAY OUT RIGHT? DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.
…WAIT….THIS SAYS “Death”?!
James: This isn’t some kind of joke, is it ?
Death: I’M NOT KNOWN FOR MY SENSE OF FUN.
James: No… Of course, not. No offense meant. It’s just…It’s just… I thought time was something that happened to other people, not to you.
Deblin:
But I’ve always been such a big fan of your work, you can’t! Although lately I’ve had mixed feelings about that anyway….
Say…Death, if you go, will there be?..
Death: A NEW DEATH WILL ARISE FROM THE MIND OF THE LIVING.
Deblin and James: You… don’t… happened to know who he’ll be, do you.
Death: NO. BUT WHEN I SEE HIM, I WILL HEARTILY RECOMMEND YOU.
James and Deblin: *worried look*
Oh. You’ll see him, then.
Death: YES. WHEN HE COMES FOR ME. WHEN HE COMES FOR ME. I MUST GO. MUSTN’T… WASTE TIME. *mounts Binky*
James: Err… No.
Death: *holds up hourglass* SEE! I HAVE TIME. AT LAST, I HAVE TIME.
James: What are you going to do with it?
Death: I’M GOING TO SPEND IT.
I’M GOING TO SPEND IT! *rides off*
…
And then there you have it. At this moment, there is no death for WDYD Death’s been fired.
No one to swing the scythe, and no one to collect the souls. Which mean those souls are not at rest.
They’re neither here, nor there. They would you and I might call zombies.
A final rumpus that’s going to cause.
And that’s the story that I’m going to tell you.
How life and death depend on each other… absolutely.
Well for a little while anyway….This is after all still the story about the Elf.
OR:
Tell death quitting means forfeit and not only do you get to live(Deblin gets to do anyway since you already took his place before the game) But he[Death] also has to replace Deblin’s wing and also Death has to be your “friend slave” for the rest of your life…its the rules of the card game and fairs fair after all.
OR
Watch as Deblin regrows his wing…well kinda…
__
Say, Deb? you’re doing it wrong…don’t you need flesh on that? its all bony…
Wait…
Gah so confusing
So Deblin is now a half demon(presumably other half is human?) who is half Angel(possibly replacing the demon but then why still have horns?) who now has part death?
So is he is a half-angel(of death) now? If so does that mean another dramatic alignment shift this time to true neutral? Damn it, not another angsty “What have I become” arc…
*sigh* Guide your friend through his latest set of bodyhorror mind warping changes as he becomes the new Death.
I second all of me’s suggestions
Hover two inches over Deblin’s face until he wakes up. It’ll be funny.
Shout “You can’t quit, I fire you!”
Tell death that he must revive Deblin and give you ice cream, while dying your hair green.
next
I third Wizician
Ask Death if he actually has hourglasses for every person
Take Death’s rake.